One of the most debilitating states of mind is having a lack of confidence. A lack of confidence may have many origins from early childhood to adult setbacks, divorce, redundancy, negative relationships to name but a few of the negative histories that can keep us held in limiting beliefs.
The analogy of a computer works well to understand the mental programmes we run. We are born with evolutionary programmes that are hardwired. Our bodily functions, the need to eat, drink, and seek warmth. Our consciousness expands as we mature and we begin to differentiate ourselves and our needs. Our environment stimulates our learning directly and indirectly.
What is not hardwired is what we learn and what we subsequently come to believe and describe as our truth. If we are exposed to fairly constant negative influences, like being told we could never achieve or are lacking in some way, we can be convinced by that influence and mistake the truth.
Our subconscious mind absorbs the negative information, like a computer running a viral background programme and keeps re-running it every time we trigger the key. The more we tell ourselves we can’t do something the more we can’t, thereby proving our negative belief and confirming it enough times for it to become our personal truth. The really good news is that learnt programmes can be changed giving you back the full use of your personal computer, your brain. There are innumerable stories of those who have rejected negative confidence sapping beliefs and risen past their adversities to have fulfilling and meaningful lives on their terms and do so with a joy and love that is an inspiration to others.
If you can accept, given a healthy birth, we are all born innately equal you can begin the journey to your fulfilment. I realise here I am speaking of the big picture goal. That said “the thousand mile journey starts with the first step”. The first step for you may be a simple thing but once you know you can achieve it the journey of a life time can begin!
Having insight as to why a lack of confidence has developed is of course important but most important is how to change it!
- Find a comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed.
- Relax your muscles and let your mind focus on the natural flow of your breath until you feel yourself beginning to relax in mind and body.
- Bring to your mind the things you have achieved so far in your life.
- Create a picture, feeling or voice in your mind of all of those things and remember what you have achieved no matter how big or small. Make the picture, feeling and voice strong in your mind.
- Now imagine you are stepping into that picture, feeling or voice and anchor it with a physical touch (squeezing finger and thumb together can bring back the feeling of confidence) or making a picture you can easily identify with or an internal voice that says “yes I can” or another personal positive statement. Anchor it with whatever feels most natural to you.
- When you have trained yourself to fire off that feeling, picture or voice anchor you can come back to normal consciousness knowing that you can generate a confident state of mind when you wish.
Practice, practice, practice and confidence will become a state that is natural to you.
I hope this short article encourages you to look for a solution within yourself using NLP and Hypnotherapy to bring about the change you desire.